havin' some fun.... or not

Today is a day with mixed reviews.

I have recently sunk to my lowest depths so far since the new year started, and the most irritating thing about it is, i don't exactly know why. I have become nitpicky about my life, especially what comes after my so-called decisions for the new year. Yes, ladies and gents, i am going crazy.

To eradicate this self-imposed pain, i tried to sort out what i can do for the year (and do it i must, godammit!). I realize i want to:

-Travel
-either work or study abroad
-earn money to do the first two things mentioned
-be happy!!!

Ok, i am a pessimistic person. I have been and perhaps always will be. It is terrible of me to be this way especially since i have just started the year, and i am trying my damnest to get myself out of this rut. *sigh*.

First steps first: get my passport ok-ed. So far, no good news on that one (my schedule is tomorrow for processing since i lost the darn thing last year). Hopefully by the end of this month i'll have a new one yey! Secondly, make a plan of action for the rest of the year. I've taken my first steps in checking out possible areas where i can go to, and possibly study. There are a LOT of places and schools i can go to, and i was quite overwhelmed by the enornity of what i was about to tackle. Apparently, it's not as easy as i thout. Here i am, downloading forms and whathaveyous so i can see the possibilities in hard copy.

The third priority is my biggest challenge for now: where to get the dough for this adventure. My parents of course, cannot shoulder it since they have their own lives (and i, being a supposed employed person and responsible daughter, is supposed to be well-off enough to support myself on this) and i feel really weird asking for money from them. I am considering loans and perhaps grants, though for now i am not exactly sure where i can get these. I have also taken into consideration selling some of the items i own.... hmmm... not enough though....

Still, the action of doing so gave me a bit of a lift in my mood and for that i am glad, at least. :-P

+ + +

My sweetie's 'rents are coming to visit sometime this month. Oh, the excitement! Quite frankly, i am scared. I was never the gal to handle meeting the 'rents with cool and panache, so this piece of news sank in slowly. I hope they're ok. I hope i'm gonna be ok. *sigh*

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Speaking of 'rents, my folks will be here next week too, for some legal and personal issues. It'll be fun (?) to see them again, although i am wary too (the xmas break was well, interesting) of what will be in store. I miss the idea of parents. Nah, i jjst miss my parents, i think.